2:11 AM

i dread it most whenever someone asks, "so how's ur job search coming along?"

yeh i noe they asked it out of gd will.. but frankly speaking, everytime i hear tt qn coming out from someone's mouth.. i wanna pick up my shoe and fling it at them. juz so damn sick of hearing it.

and then i'll tell them.. havent reli found any tt i'm reli interested in doing..
i mean.. i'm not even sure wat i want to do! being stranded with distillation columns and weird smelling chemicals for the rest of my life on jurong island certainly dun sound appealing.

to which they'll give me the very horrified look.. "but u're studying chemical engineering! if u dun want to be a chem engineer.. why are u studying it!"

someone pls tell these ignorant ppl tt not EVERYONE are lucky enough to study wat they reli want to study.. and get a job tt they reli wanna stick with for the rest of their lives. talking to such airheads juz pain me.

so sick of flipping thru Straits Times recruit every sat morning, squinting hard at all the puny lil job adverts.. then deciding that there's nothing tt catches my interest (or i'm qualified enough for). sick of wtg for calls. i dun even expect them anymore.

yeh i noe. so u think i'm juz being picky. but why study so hard ALL ur life.. get above average grades.. then end up with a job tt u totally have no interest in??

feels as if i have been duped for so long.. used to believe tt if i mugged hard enough and got all the As tt everyone's fighting so damn hard for.. then i'll be able to get into med sch and be a doctor, a veterinarian.. a marine biologist.. anyone in fact.. anyone but an engineer.

"tell me wat motivates u to be a chemical engineer.. why do u want this job?"

"oh.. i love working with my hands.. building things..troubleshooting.. analyzing problems.. it gives me personal satisfaction.."

liar. who am i trying to kid?? i cant even convince myself.. how do i expect them to be convinced..

~gone in a moment..